The Dawning of a New Day

 The day after my first post, I had a miscarriage. I had previously taken 3 pregnancy tests to confirm the fact that I was pregnant. Although this wasn't planned by my husband and I, we had become very excited at the prospect of growing our family and giving our 7 month old a little sibling. It was extremely painful, both physically and emotionally to say goodbye to our little one. Although I was only five weeks along, I had begun to dream and pray daily for the little one that grew within me. I mourned the loss of my plans and had to surrender (unwillingly) to God's. The best way to describe how I felt was to say that I felt as though I had been woken up from a beautiful dream only to find that it was untrue. I felt an emptiness. Seeing my little was hard too. I lost it when I did and as gross or morbid as it may sound I kept the tissue in a container. When we have our own house I plan to bury the baby on our property. I KNOW that God has an amazing plan and I need to trust him. I also know that our baby is much happier with his/her creator being raised in heaven. The thought excites me that One day we will meet him/her. Until then little one...until then.

 WOW! So this very moment is fulfilling a dream of mine. I am tempted to succumb to the pressure that this first entry must be epic!! Hello everyone and welcome to the sometimes disorderly- worded -and- run- on- sentence- world of me. As I talked a bit about in my "about me",  I am in my seventh month of Maternity leave. It has been such an awesome experience to be able to NOT work and to have the chaos around me settle into just revolving around my little family.
 Prior to my time off I worked (and still do technically) as a Manager of a retail store. After working retail for ten years I have seen it all! My day to day life was filled with the nonsense of retail. Customers returning and complaining and head office never seeing the work you do and expecting more than any human could ever achieve. I was slowly becoming a a bitter employee, snapping at customers and encouraging all the part time employees to finish post secondary education and get the heck out of HERE! Life was one meaningless day after another and I was losing my witness as a Christian as I slipped into wonderfully complacent thoughts of bitterness.
 When I found out unexpectedly that I was Pregnant, my husband and I were socked and then became excited at the prospect of being parents. After months of working on my feet, I grew to anticipate and in a weird way dread the time off. Now I can say with confidence that it has been such a blessing to have this time to spend with my family, my BABY and God. I look forward to sharing with you thoughts and revelations that I am having on this journey we call life!